Dear Love Me Guru:
I am ready to give up on dating! I just can’t seem to find a companion worth my time. I have gone on sooo many dates (good and bad), and it just seems like there are no real candidates. I feel like I’ve met everyone I may be interested in and my dating pool is all tapped out. Where have all the good prospects gone?!
– Searching in Vain
Dear Searching in Vain:
How big is your dating pool? Is it a jetted bathtub for one? An above ground jacuzzi that barely fits four? Or a wishing fountain at your local mall? Maybe your dating pool is all tapped out because you keep going to the same body of water.
Bathtub, Jacuzzi, Fountain
If your dating pool is a jetted bathtub for one, then its very likely you are excluding potential partners by being extra extra extra picky. There’s nothing wrong with having standards, and knowing what you want. You must! But if you turn down opportunities for connection because of some casual reason like “I didn’t like the person’s shoes;” well then don’t complain about the size of your dating pool because it is custom made by you!
A dating pool the size of an above ground jacuzzi that barely fits four tells me you are staying within your comfort zone. The magic of love happens outside of your comfort zone! Get out more! Remember when you were in grade school and would go play during recess? Rememer how that playground was your whole world, and it was big enough to meet new friends, and you still didn’t know everybody? Time to go out and play! The world is your playground, and there are way more people to play with than there were in grade school.
Lastly, the sad wishing well at your local mall. If this is the dating pool you keep going to, it’s time to stop wishing for love to come find you. Instead, focus on giving love to others. You will find that as you give love, you are filled with love. Love is an inexhaustible resource. You just need to generate it by giving it. One of the best things you can do in your life, and for your life, is to give love to another without concern for the outcome. Give love giving a chance!
Closer than you realize
There’s a story of a young man who was mining for gold without much success. He kept finding rocks with flecks of gold in them, but he quickly threw them out because he wanted to find nuggets. He had been told that the mountains were full of nuggets as big as his fist. As time passed, the young man became impatient and discouraged, and he felt his search was in vain. Eventually he gave up. The day after the young man gave up, another prospector came along, and found a gold nugget the size of his head. The nugget was found less than 2 feet from where the young man gave up!
The young man’s loss was double because he missed out on the giant nugget by giving up too early, and he also didn’t collect valuable flecks of gold which would have made him very rich.
Searching in Vain, your giant nugget of love is closer than you realize! Don’t give up now! Don’t make the same mistakes the young man made. When you find flecks of gold — little experiences and connections with others — save them. Treasure them. They will greatly enrich your life.
If you have a question for the Love Me Run Guru, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org